An Unexpected Wake Up Call

In my opinion, the weekend after Thanksgiving (following into the first week of December) was the most difficult period of time in our marriage.  The death of the man that we probably owe everything to shook our worlds up....mine particular.  It was an unexpected wake up call for me...in a bitter sweet sort of way.

The past year of marriage has been quite the challenge.  Not only did I have to get used to my consulting lifestyle, I also had to understand my husband's job and his expectations of me as a wife.  In my effort to figure out my new life, I got comfortable in knowing that God was taking care of everything.  My work kept me away during the week which kept me away from Bible studies and fellowship with my girls.  The  weekends were all I had to catch up on being a home maker which overwhelmed me to the point where I stepped down from Sunday School.  I barely made the time to exercise my faith, but not a day went by without me thanking God or taking a moment to realize all this was a blessing and not my works.

Our wedding, like all weddings, was magical but with a touch of 'extra-ordinary'.  The four years leading up to it was quite the dramatic journey (which I would not wish upon anyone).  But one thing I learned in the process was that God meets us where we are and provides our every need...that has always been His promise.  When both of us where emotionally and physically distant from our parents, God introduced the Mollers into our lives.  They, like every other angel from above, represented God's unconditional love and acceptance with open hearts, arms and home.

Mid 2006, I had just moved to White Plains, and was praying desperately for a good church I can get involved in.  I knew God had big plans for me,  and I was aching to grow in my relationship with God and experience more of this world.  He answered those prayers by allowing me to randomly bump into Mrs. Mollers at Kids Konference on year.  Soon I was helping out with her Sunday School class.  Mr. and Mrs. Mollers, as I first used to call them, soon became Bill and Joanne to me.  I was amazed to see how great ambassadors they were for Christ, and how wonderfully they lived out God's love.  I knew what the Scripture said, but I did not know how to confidently live on God's every promise each day of my life, and it was an eye opener to see them living out their faith.

Our families were against the thought of us dating or wanting to get married.  When everyone refused to give us a chance, the Mollers opened up their home for us.  They were the first to meet my husband and hear us out.  They were the first to acknowledge God's big plans for our lives as a couple and encourage us to keep praying and striving for "the right" God put on our hearts.  They became such a huge part of our lives that my husband decided to call them Mama and Papa Mollers.  And that name stuck.
Mama Mollers played the piano at our wedding, and Papa Mollers prayed over the beginning of our lives as husband and wife.

Papa Mollers passed away on December 2, 2009.  He was 72 years old.  And that was a wake up call for my faith.  Seeing him at the hospital, the day they took him off of life support, was a calming experience for me.  It reassured me that when we live our life solely for Christ, the Father will take care of our every need even until the end.  The Mollers struggled unwaveringly through all the trials in life. They understood it was a test of their faith, and was loyal to their calling despite the many short comings and hardships.  Even cancer could not shake them off their walk with God!!   I  believe, without a doubt, that God honored Pops' faithfulness up until his last breath, and continue to take care of Mom even in her loneliness.  I know everyone will not get the peaceful ending Papa Mollers got, but seeing him at peace was all I needed to rekindle that fire I had within me when they first met me.

I had a hard time grasping the situation and coming to terms with the fact that he would soon leave us.  It was all so quick and I was falling apart. I would cry out of fear, out of guilt, out of sadness, out of doubt and out of hurt.  I already knew what my kids would call them.  I had already made plans for the Mollers to be a third set of grandparents for my children. They would learn so much about art, gardening, wood work and Christ's love from them.  But those were just my plans and it was a bit difficult for me to just let God take control.
From his deathbed, Pops witnessed to me the love God had for His children even in their final hours.  I know I saw a smile on his face even with all the tubes and machines connected to his body.  Standing next to him, Mom witnessed the grace and promises God gave His children even in the most trying of times.  She had every reason to fall apart and be confused. Life as she knew and loved was snatched away from her in a heartbeat. But there she should stood by him proclaiming how wonderful God was through it all.

It is sad when we have to be reminded of the simplest of things in life through the loss of a loved one.  But Papa Mollers' death was no ordinary departure from this earth.  He lived a magnificent life, and had an extra ordinary death.  It was clear at the memorial service that Saturday (December 5th), we were not the only family that was impacted by the Mollers.  Everyone was reminded of how William Mollers was a symbol of love, and a true disciple of Christ.  In his humility he gave everyone a chance, and loved everyone unconditionally. And that is what I was missing this past year....the ability to move past my hurt and love unconditionally, the ability to make a difference in someone regardless of the darts life is throwing at me.

Papa Mollers death was an unexpected wake up call for me......and I hope that someday I can make my Pops even more proud of me than he already is.


Love you much Papa Mollers! missing you terribly.

Mrs. Sgt. P.

A New Sense of Pride

Apart from the number of deployments I have "lived" through, I have had no real Marine Corps exposure the five years before our marriage.  Everything was just a story - a verbal explanation of how things were and are to be from a Marine who did not like to speak much.  So I had to use my imagination a lot to visualize and understand the Corps that became my Marine's life.

My perception of the Marine Corps started changing the day I decided to be a part of his life and  lifestyle.  It all started with a 'smack on the bum' as part of the Sword Detail Ceremony at our wedding.  As spectacular as our Marine Corps wedding was, the huge "thud" with the sword on my butt had the crowd laughing, making it a memorable end to our beautiful wedding.  The table for the Fallen Comrades at the reception was yet another wake up call to the reality of a military life.  My husband, along with every other military personnel that has been to war, live every day with the pain of losing a brother in battle.  I might never understand it, nor do I take the time to remember on a daily basis how it has changed his life. But the fact that he wanted to remember all those sacrificed lives on our wedding day brought a sense of pride in me like none I've felt before.

Over the past year of living with a Marine on Recruiting Duty, I have learned to accept the challenges of being married to a Marine on Special Duty.  As civilians, we complain about our jobs - be it behind a desk, or on your feet, or even working two or three jobs a day. We all struggle to make a living, but it took me awhile to get used to my husband's kind of work.  On a good day he leaves for work at 7:30am, only to come home between 8:30 or 9pm so he can finish up some work to kick off the next day. =)  live with the man, but on a good day I might see him for an hour in the morning and a couple of hours at night (which includes the morning rituals of getting ready for work, and unwinding after a long days work, computer time and preparing for sleep). As a wife, I can nag about the quality time we DO NOT have, but I have to constantly remind myself this is the life I chose too. It comes with the package. I am just grateful he's home every night, and the "distance" even while living under the same roof helps us cherish the few minutes we do get talking to each other, or doing something together. Regardless of all that, I take pride in his work, and the kids that join the Marine Corps because I know they will make quality Marines just like my husband.

Of course the trip to Marine Corps headquarters, Quantico, VA was a wowwwiieeee!  I thought getting a glimpse of the Marine One hovering over around heads was the ultimate excitement.  But driving around base seeing the old school buildings, and shopping at the PX were eye opening as well.  To boot, NCIS (only the best TV show in the world) also had a little building on base that was built way back in the day.  That totally made my moment!!!!  =)
Since we were going to be there overnight, we decided to take our Guinea Pigs on a joy ride to Virginia as well.  Maybe the details of that will be a story for another day.  All I can say is, we KINDA understood what it would be like to have kids. =)  Ok, so the night ended with us going into DC to watch the Silent Drill Platoon and the Commandant's Band!!!!!!   Ummmm....I don't know if I can find an adjective to describe what that was all about. To be able to see that in person this early in my Marine Wife career was a huge blessing.  I got to see the "talented" side of the Marine Corps, and it was magnificent. It made me realize that no matter what their rank, Marines put their heart and every bit of energy into serving its citizens and doing their job well.  And that is a tradition that is passed on from the founders of the Marine Corps.

Special access to Pier 88 to watch, up close, the USS New York pulling into the dock was another pride booster for this Marine Wife.  I was on seventh heaven that day, beside my Marine, amongst all those other service members and officials.  I must say, I was more in awe of being able to witness history with my husband and his poolees than actually getting that close to the fighter ship.

The icing on top of the cake this year was the Birthday Ball.  I was nervous because I had never been to a formal event before. I didnt know what to wear, or how to behave.  I was under the impression it was a birthday celebration where everyone just got together and partied all night long in long gowns and uniforms.  As usual I was amazed at the traditions the Marine Corps upheld, specially on this day.  It was not just any other birthday bash, but it was a day to celebrate the lives of all the Marines that have come and gone throughout the 234 years of USMC has been alive.  I enjoyed the traditions that were followed like how the oldest and youngest Marines in the room were recognized and celebrated. It was reminded the sacrifices marines of the past did to pave the way for the future marines and their families.  My husband always tells me that we should not dwell in the past, but look over our shoulders every now and then so we would not forget where we came from.  It was such a path down memory lane for me hearing   speeches about the honor, courage and commitment that has been passed down all these years from one marine to another.  Apart from the formality of the first half of the evening, the second half was filled with dances, socializing, drinking and lots of posing for pictures.  I guess the best part of the night for me was to see a two year old rocking the dance floor with her dad.  I am sure she was just having fun, and did not realize the meaning of that memory.  Not only did that marine teach his daughter (at a young age) that he will always be right by her side when she explores the world around her. He taught her to step out of her element and be herself no matter who was watching.  She was a little princess who had her own dance moves regardless of what everyone else around her was doing.
Honestly, after that event I am more proud and feel more a part of my new large family.  Just like any other family there's going to be gossip, attitude and drama, children growing up and promotions. Unlike a regular family there are frequent changes of homes and jobs, new friends and faces often, and maybe even months of time apart from each other.  But just like any other family, with all its ups and downs I have realized I am made for this family.  I enjoy the traditions, the brotherhood, and the pride that comes from being a part of the few and the proud.

Mrs. Sgt. P.