Its A Beautiful Life

And the horoscope says...?

2010-04-01T19:36:00.000-04:00

Growing up a Hindu, my husband believes in the study of stars and horocopes. As a Christian, I am taught not to spend time reading it or believing what people have to say about my future or past.

When we were dating, my family was concerned that he was not as educated as I was because I was working on my masters degree (and still am), and he only had his bachelors. In our community, education is very important! It's not about what you know, its all about how many degrees you have to prove you know something. His family was concerned that I was making more money than he was, and that would inflate my ego and ruin our marriage. Again, the social realm we are from is founded on the very principle that the woman will be a step lower than her husband on all aspects of life. Having a wife that was bringing home more money, or was more educated meant the family dynamics would be out of balance.

None of this phased us because our God, our commitment and our willingness to survive all odds did not allow for educational degrees and monthly paychecks to rot the mere basis of our very existence together.

So that's the background for today's story....

Every once in awhile during our play fights I like to remind him that I'm more educated than he is. blah blah blah. So this particular fight, my man decides to point out that as per his horoscope it says he would marry an educated girl, but not a knowledgeable one. (Since the phrase was in our language, there will be some loss of meaning and humor with the translation.)

One would associate education to knowledge. The more educated a person, the more well rounded, smart and wise he/she is considered to be. I have a bachelors and currently working on my masters, yet sometimes I wonder about myself!!! There are moments when I sound like a genius, and other times where it's clear I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. My marine, on the other hand, knows a little bit about everything under the sky. If he doesn't have an answer for you, he will make sure to read up on the topic and be prepared for a discussion next time.

I am a Computer Science major, and my husband has got a degree in Business Administration, yet I am the one that tried to print wireless from my laptop when I did not have a printer with wireless functionality. I am also the person that had a discussion with my husband about H1N1 virus without realizing (until he, so very humbly, pointed out) that I kept refering to the virus as N1V1. The stories are many, and I dont wish to allow you some free entertainment on my behalf!!

For a person who is raised to question horoscopes and predictions, my own behavior and random out pouring of wisdom makes me want to believe in what the astrologers have said. Maybe they just got lucky this time around.

My marine's horoscope may be true, I am curious to know what mine would say about him......

=)

The Wise Mrs. Sgt. P

The Dream Team

2010-03-18T16:58:00.000-04:00

My husband's a hard core Marine, both at work and at home. If you have been following my posts, you would already know I lovingly call him a prick. =) He's as tough as they get, both inside and out. But right when I KNOW I have figured him out...he throws me a curve ball.

So this week I had a sneak peek into a possible college dream. Not sure if that dream is meant to come true, but it was very exciting to live it even for a day. But what touched me the most about the whole ordeal was my husband's attitude towards the whole thing.

I had to go into NYC for an interview earlier this week. I remember wanting a job in the city as a college student, and somewhere along the years the desire was suppressed due to other opportunities. My husband is the only person in my life that constantly encourages me to dream big, live life to the fullest, and to be all that I can be (be who God intended for me to be). So just the idea of taking a train into the city dressed in a suit had its own appeal that words cannot express. Even though I know my husband to be a sweetheart deep deep down...the icing on the cake (let's say a chocolate fudge cake with chocolate icing) this eventful day really was my man's support. He woke up early so he could drop me off at the train station before work. He even stopped me to pose for a picture before I walked out the door. All the way to the station he told me how great I was going to be and how beautiful I looked. I did not have any butterflies in my tummy going into the interview because I knew my man believed in me. When I thanked him for being such a wonderful husband, he looked at me and said "if I dont support your dreams, then who would? And how would we be the dream team if we dont follow our dreams" (or something along those lines....I am just relaying to you what I heard him say. Ha!)

I truly am very blessed. Moments like that...the simplicity, the support, the sincerity, the honesty, and the love in my Marine is what I need to remind myself when we disagree with each other, or when he's not around. My Boo-Boo loves me unconditionally and more!
I am pretty sure most family members are still not convinced we are meant to be. If they were a fly in our home for even a second they would see that this crazy marine wife is living a beautiful life. We truly are a dream team.

I took a chance on love by falling in love with a Marine that I met over the internet. I stepped out in faith convinced that God was pulling us together even when our families were pulling us apart. And today I know no matter what life throws at me, I will be good to go because I have my God leading the way and my Marine watching my back. =)

Our dream team consists of three. And together we make our every dream come true!
Do you have a dream team?

Mrs. Sgt. P.

How to Deal...?

2010-03-18T13:27:00.001-04:00

Imagine a world so perfect...where all the elements of life fuse together in harmony. Now imagine your life. How perfect is your world? Even with all the heartaches, stress and uncertainties that surround us, we have learned to accept them and integrate them as part of our perfect world.

I know my world is perfect. By God's grace we both have jobs and live a fabulous life. We have tons of pets at home (a tank of Angel fish, a tank of Gold fish, two Turtles, three Guinea Pigs, and one Hamster). We rent an apartment that we call home. We have a car and an SUV. We have just enough people in our lives to love us unconditionally. We have each other! And most importantly we have our God right smack in the middle of all this keeping it all in tact. So even with all the bills, work related stress, random mood swings etc...our world is simply perfect. When we focus on the important things that we cherish, everything else becomes so minor and nonexistent.

Just like a good frame is necessary to build a perfect house, we all have building blocks (things we value) to make ourselves a "perfect" world. Yet, with all the uncertainties that surround us, it's amazing how we take so much for granted. How are we to deal when a wave of uncertainty comes crashing down on our building blocks?

I write this with the utmost humility and even a moment of vulnerability and weakness. I am one of those that forget to count my blessings when my life is going as I desire. A couple of weeks ago I was reminded the fact that my life, as I know it, had so many areas that were beyond my control. I admit it was quite overwhelming! The thought of possibly losing a building block, meant that some of the other blocks might shake or maybe even fall!!! It has forced me to reevaluate my priorities, and the amount of importance I give to my so called building blocks. A few days of being distracted and annoyed has helped me conclude that the only perfect thing in my life is God. That's the building block that will never be shaken even if the others are out of place. Everything else will come and go. We are to make the most of the time we have with our loved ones, including our pets, cherish the precious moments in our home,cars, and even at work because all those things can disappear one day as well. And the various burden that constantly surround us are simply to balance the equilibrium in our life and keep us real.

Do you find yourself struggling to deal with the uncertainties of life? Are your struggles so much that you have forgotten to identify the 'building blocks' that would make your world perfect? I hope what I have come to realize this past month will be something that can benefit you. Life is too short for us to be disheveled with the unpredictable nature of circumstances that come our way.

The simple answer to the mind boggling question "How are we to deal?" is this:
When life serves you lemons, we gotta make yummylicious lemonade.

Mrs. Sgt. P.

How much longer?

2010-02-21T11:40:00.001-05:00

In the Indian community there are two kinds of marriages, arranged marriage and love marriage. Arranged marriage is one where the parents of the bride and groom initiate the relationship between the two families and allow their daughter or son to "agree" to be married. The second being love marriage, where the crazy kids find their own mate sometimes having to twist their parents arms to agree to be supportive of the relationship, and other times doing their own thing without the parents in the picture.

The touch of extra ordinary in our magical wedding was the very fact that it was a love marriage. My parents agreed to be a part of our lives together a bit before the wedding, while his parents kept their distance for almost a year. Everyone was hurt in their own ways...mostly because the crack in the false sense of expectations and pride built over the years.
One of the biggest difference between my husband and I is that he doesnt expect anything from anybody, nor does he live to fulfill anyones expectations. Me, on the other hand, run around trying to please everyone, and want people to be happy with what i do with my life.

So a week before our first wedding anniversary, we were invited to my husband's parents house for Thanksgiving dinner. My first time in that house as a daughter-in-law.  It was nerve wracking and my stomach was in a knot the whooole time. But that day was an answered prayer for my mother, for my mother-in-law and for me.

Here's what I have learned from all this.
1. There are two kinds of 'waitng period'. One, when God wants us to wait for the perfect outcome. And two, humans in their uttmost stubborness keeps us waiting for the right time. Either way, it takes a lot of patience, perserverance and prayer to survive the wait.

2. Depending on the circumstances and your attitude towards the people in question, you will either have the will power to hold on as long as needed hoping for change or your weary heart will force your mind to walk away.

3. We dictate who gets to be a part of our life, and who gets to miss out on it.  In the fast pace environment we live in, we can't afford to wait around for someone who doesn't reciprocate the unspoken vows in that relationship.

I will confess, I have walked away from individuals in my life because they let their own emotions get in the way of my loyalty and love for them. As they take/took the time to heal their own wounds, they forget/forgot about my feelings of standing in the dark waiting for them to come around. The more I analyzed such a relationsihp, I realized it was always a one way street and the pattern repeated itself over and over.....I just chose to close my eyes to it because I loved them too much. And I didnt want to say anything because the truth almost always hurts!! I am quick to forgive and move on, but there's only so much one can expect of me. I am human after all!   One thing I know for sure, when they do decide to come back into my life they will be accepted, but will have a lot to prove before I trust them blindly like I once used to.....and I believe that's only fair.

But with my new set of parents, it was different.  I understood their hurt was legit, and I was ready to wait however long it took for the sake of our future family. It wasn't a God enforced wait, but when it was all sorted out, it was like a God driven unity.
It is important to me that we live in harmony with our parents, and siblings. Grandparents, Uncles and Aunts are the most important people in a child's life after the parents. Who else will spoil them with lots of gifts and get them out of time outs. =)
I guess my heart could have gotten tired of waiting around for my in-laws to accept me, but I know deep down my mother-in-law didnt allow for it by constantly checking up on me and telling me how stubborn my dad-in-law can get. And then I had my mother on the other end reminding me that it was ok and in time everything would be good. We were all praying for it and our God answers prayers in His time. I know God used both my mothers as angels to constantly keep a check on me.
Do I love my parents-in-law whole heartedly? Absolutely. Do I remind myself every once in awhile the things they have said or done the past few years? Rightfully so, but in the bigger picture of things it has quickly become so irrelevant. Yet I need to take a peek at my past in order to be smart about my future.

Do you find yourself in a relationship where you are kept "on hold" because the respective person/people need time to adjust to the changes? If so the questions you need to ask yourself are the following:
1. Why am I put on a hold?
2. Do you classify it as a Godly wait, or a human wait?
3. Have I taken the necessary steps to work it out?
4. Am I ready to take the necessary steps to work it out?
5. How important is this person/situation to you?
6. History repeats itself, do you see similar patterns in your past?
7. What outcome do you forsee from waiting?

We all take different paths in life, and we all have a variety of relationships in our life. What works for me, might not work for you. But the common theme in a road bump such as this is the mentality that we WILL move on! Our world doesnt and shouldnt come to a halt because of the people in our lives.
We let them choose to be a part of our journey through life, or standby on the sidewalk wondering how far we have gotten, and how well we are enjoying our life. It is ultimately their choice to love us for who we are and not on what we do for them. =)
How much longer are you willing to wait for a friend or a family member to come to their senses? Do you have what it takes to over look the past in order to built a better future with those individuals?

Mrs. Sgt. P.

The Hammer and the Nail

2010-01-21T13:44:00.044-05:00

My brother and I had a very interesting conversation one day about the different personalities of the men in our lives and he used an interesting analogy. There are three types of men. The "Hammers", the "Nails", and the "Nails who think they are Hammers".

A hammer is considered to be strong and powerful.  There are two faces to a hammer - one that provides immediate direction and guidance through thick and thin, the other face allows for second chances, using rigid edges to pull the nail out of "the hard spots" for redirection. It does not take orders from the nail, but is humbled by a power superior and mightier than itself. It is a blind leader. Then there is the nail. The nail is weaker of the two. It would rather be given a direction than decide on its own where to go or what to do.  The nail cannot and will not stand up against the hammer, but instead adheres to every command. Even though it is built with metal, it does not realize its own strength. It is a blind follower.

In human terms, firstly we have "Hammers". Strong willed, authoritative, disciplined...they are born leaders. Some are arrogant, and mean spirited, using their traits as a form of dictatorship focusing only on themselves and their well being. Others are positive and uplifting, constantly encouraging the weak to rise to success.   Hammers set the rules and expect them to be followed. They are more comfortable running their own show, following their own dreams and living life to the fullest. Purely alpha-male by nature, they deal negatively to too much outside influence. Most of the time, they are wise enough to understand the people around them and provide a constant source of inner strength to live out one's true calling in life. Although tough, most people with "Hammer" tendencies are sensitive to the needs of others around them, specially the ones feeding off their energy.

Then we have the "Nails", relatively weaker individuals that give in to authority quickly. They have visions and dreams, but allow it to be directed by people of value in their lives. They are followers at heart, and sometimes get confused between influences from God versus man. They have strength like no other, but is unnoticed by themselves and the people around them. Nails are not wired to be Hammers, yet they have potential to be Hammer-like in their decision making and presence. Though strong willed and hard headed when needed, they prefer to blen in to the community and society that surround them. A person with nail-like traits will flourish and grow immensely with positive hammer influence. On the other hand, when met with arrogance and constant negative vibes, the nail will find comfort hiding from and relying on their own abilities to succeed, thus hindering their chances to fulfill their calling in life.

And thirdly we have "Nails who THINK they are Hammers". These are men that talk like hammers and act like nails. They have so many plans of being authoritative and successful leaders, yet they end up giving into the pressures of the world/people around them. Their hammer-like tendencies only arise when pushed over the edge, while their nail-like tendencies are used to escape everyday reality. They talk the talk but have a tough time walking the walk. When paired up with a nail, the two will make an ordinary couple going through the motions of an ordinary life.

My Mairne is definitely a Hammer. Being married to one, I find myself categorizing most men unconsciously as Hammer, Nail and Confused. =) I have to constantly remind myself that we are all creations of God and we are all created as perfect in God's eyes.
There are pros and cons to being married to a Hammer, and I know for a fact not all women are wired to put up with it.  My world is peaceful because most people choose to keep a distance from my Marine. They know not to mess with him, and the ones that do tend to learn a hard lesson. At first it was difficult to survive the rules at home, but once I took the time to understand the reasons behind them my life started to change. The rules are simple. It provides security, structure, discipline, boundary and lots of room for growth.
A Nail by nature, I am very proud to be married to a Hammer. Life as I know it, is simply beautiful and filled with love. I can honestly admit that I too am living life to the fullest and enjoying every bit of God's blessing in the process.

So here are a few thought provoking questions for men/women reading this blog - What kind of a person are you? What kind of a man/woman are you looking for? What kind of a man/woman are you married to?

Mrs. Sgt. P.

An Unexpected Wake Up Call

2009-12-20T08:34:00.000-05:00

In my opinion, the weekend after Thanksgiving (following into the first week of December) was the most difficult period of time in our marriage. The death of the man that we probably owe everything to shook our worlds up....mine particular. It was an unexpected wake up call for me...in a bitter sweet sort of way.

The past year of marriage has been quite the challenge. Not only did I have to get used to my consulting lifestyle, I also had to understand my husband's job and his expectations of me as a wife. In my effort to figure out my new life, I got comfortable in knowing that God was taking care of everything. My work kept me away during the week which kept me away from Bible studies and fellowship with my girls. The weekends were all I had to catch up on being a home maker which overwhelmed me to the point where I stepped down from Sunday School. I barely made the time to exercise my faith, but not a day went by without me thanking God or taking a moment to realize all this was a blessing and not my works.

Our wedding, like all weddings, was magical but with a touch of 'extra-ordinary'. The four years leading up to it was quite the dramatic journey (which I would not wish upon anyone). But one thing I learned in the process was that God meets us where we are and provides our every need...that has always been His promise. When both of us where emotionally and physically distant from our parents, God introduced the Mollers into our lives. They, like every other angel from above, represented God's unconditional love and acceptance with open hearts, arms and home.

Mid 2006, I had just moved to White Plains, and was praying desperately for a good church I can get involved in. I knew God had big plans for me, and I was aching to grow in my relationship with God and experience more of this world. He answered those prayers by allowing me to randomly bump into Mrs. Mollers at Kids Konference on year. Soon I was helping out with her Sunday School class. Mr. and Mrs. Mollers, as I first used to call them, soon became Bill and Joanne to me. I was amazed to see how great ambassadors they were for Christ, and how wonderfully they lived out God's love. I knew what the Scripture said, but I did not know how to confidently live on God's every promise each day of my life, and it was an eye opener to see them living out their faith.

Our families were against the thought of us dating or wanting to get married. When everyone refused to give us a chance, the Mollers opened up their home for us. They were the first to meet my husband and hear us out. They were the first to acknowledge God's big plans for our lives as a couple and encourage us to keep praying and striving for "the right" God put on our hearts. They became such a huge part of our lives that my husband decided to call them Mama and Papa Mollers. And that name stuck.
Mama Mollers played the piano at our wedding, and Papa Mollers prayed over the beginning of our lives as husband and wife.

Papa Mollers passed away on December 2, 2009. He was 72 years old. And that was a wake up call for my faith. Seeing him at the hospital, the day they took him off of life support, was a calming experience for me. It reassured me that when we live our life solely for Christ, the Father will take care of our every need even until the end. The Mollers struggled unwaveringly through all the trials in life. They understood it was a test of their faith, and was loyal to their calling despite the many short comings and hardships. Even cancer could not shake them off their walk with God!! I believe, without a doubt, that God honored Pops' faithfulness up until his last breath, and continue to take care of Mom even in her loneliness. I know everyone will not get the peaceful ending Papa Mollers got, but seeing him at peace was all I needed to rekindle that fire I had within me when they first met me.

I had a hard time grasping the situation and coming to terms with the fact that he would soon leave us. It was all so quick and I was falling apart. I would cry out of fear, out of guilt, out of sadness, out of doubt and out of hurt. I already knew what my kids would call them. I had already made plans for the Mollers to be a third set of grandparents for my children. They would learn so much about art, gardening, wood work and Christ's love from them. But those were just my plans and it was a bit difficult for me to just let God take control.
From his deathbed, Pops witnessed to me the love God had for His children even in their final hours. I know I saw a smile on his face even with all the tubes and machines connected to his body. Standing next to him, Mom witnessed the grace and promises God gave His children even in the most trying of times. She had every reason to fall apart and be confused. Life as she knew and loved was snatched away from her in a heartbeat. But there she should stood by him proclaiming how wonderful God was through it all.

It is sad when we have to be reminded of the simplest of things in life through the loss of a loved one. But Papa Mollers' death was no ordinary departure from this earth. He lived a magnificent life, and had an extra ordinary death. It was clear at the memorial service that Saturday (December 5th), we were not the only family that was impacted by the Mollers. Everyone was reminded of how William Mollers was a symbol of love, and a true disciple of Christ. In his humility he gave everyone a chance, and loved everyone unconditionally. And that is what I was missing this past year....the ability to move past my hurt and love unconditionally, the ability to make a difference in someone regardless of the darts life is throwing at me.

Papa Mollers death was an unexpected wake up call for me......and I hope that someday I can make my Pops even more proud of me than he already is.

Love you much Papa Mollers! missing you terribly.

Mrs. Sgt. P.

A New Sense of Pride

2009-12-08T07:19:00.004-05:00

Apart from the number of deployments I have "lived" through, I have had no real Marine Corps exposure the five years before our marriage. Everything was just a story - a verbal explanation of how things were and are to be from a Marine who did not like to speak much. So I had to use my imagination a lot to visualize and understand the Corps that became my Marine's life.

My perception of the Marine Corps started changing the day I decided to be a part of his life and lifestyle. It all started with a 'smack on the bum' as part of the Sword Detail Ceremony at our wedding. As spectacular as our Marine Corps wedding was, the huge "thud" with the sword on my butt had the crowd laughing, making it a memorable end to our beautiful wedding. The table for the Fallen Comrades at the reception was yet another wake up call to the reality of a military life. My husband, along with every other military personnel that has been to war, live every day with the pain of losing a brother in battle. I might never understand it, nor do I take the time to remember on a daily basis how it has changed his life. But the fact that he wanted to remember all those sacrificed lives on our wedding day brought a sense of pride in me like none I've felt before.

Over the past year of living with a Marine on Recruiting Duty, I have learned to accept the challenges of being married to a Marine on Special Duty. As civilians, we complain about our jobs - be it behind a desk, or on your feet, or even working two or three jobs a day. We all struggle to make a living, but it took me awhile to get used to my husband's kind of work. On a good day he leaves for work at 7:30am, only to come home between 8:30 or 9pm so he can finish up some work to kick off the next day. =) live with the man, but on a good day I might see him for an hour in the morning and a couple of hours at night (which includes the morning rituals of getting ready for work, and unwinding after a long days work, computer time and preparing for sleep). As a wife, I can nag about the quality time we DO NOT have, but I have to constantly remind myself this is the life I chose too. It comes with the package. I am just grateful he's home every night, and the "distance" even while living under the same roof helps us cherish the few minutes we do get talking to each other, or doing something together. Regardless of all that, I take pride in his work, and the kids that join the Marine Corps because I know they will make quality Marines just like my husband.

Of course the trip to Marine Corps headquarters, Quantico, VA was a wowwwiieeee! I thought getting a glimpse of the Marine One hovering over around heads was the ultimate excitement. But driving around base seeing the old school buildings, and shopping at the PX were eye opening as well. To boot, NCIS (only the best TV show in the world) also had a little building on base that was built way back in the day. That totally made my moment!!!! =)
Since we were going to be there overnight, we decided to take our Guinea Pigs on a joy ride to Virginia as well. Maybe the details of that will be a story for another day. All I can say is, we KINDA understood what it would be like to have kids. =) Ok, so the night ended with us going into DC to watch the Silent Drill Platoon and the Commandant's Band!!!!!! Ummmm....I don't know if I can find an adjective to describe what that was all about. To be able to see that in person this early in my Marine Wife career was a huge blessing. I got to see the "talented" side of the Marine Corps, and it was magnificent. It made me realize that no matter what their rank, Marines put their heart and every bit of energy into serving its citizens and doing their job well. And that is a tradition that is passed on from the founders of the Marine Corps.

Special access to Pier 88 to watch, up close, the USS New York pulling into the dock was another pride booster for this Marine Wife. I was on seventh heaven that day, beside my Marine, amongst all those other service members and officials. I must say, I was more in awe of being able to witness history with my husband and his poolees than actually getting that close to the fighter ship.

The icing on top of the cake this year was the Birthday Ball. I was nervous because I had never been to a formal event before. I didnt know what to wear, or how to behave. I was under the impression it was a birthday celebration where everyone just got together and partied all night long in long gowns and uniforms. As usual I was amazed at the traditions the Marine Corps upheld, specially on this day. It was not just any other birthday bash, but it was a day to celebrate the lives of all the Marines that have come and gone throughout the 234 years of USMC has been alive. I enjoyed the traditions that were followed like how the oldest and youngest Marines in the room were recognized and celebrated. It was reminded the sacrifices marines of the past did to pave the way for the future marines and their families. My husband always tells me that we should not dwell in the past, but look over our shoulders every now and then so we would not forget where we came from. It was such a path down memory lane for me hearing speeches about the honor, courage and commitment that has been passed down all these years from one marine to another. Apart from the formality of the first half of the evening, the second half was filled with dances, socializing, drinking and lots of posing for pictures. I guess the best part of the night for me was to see a two year old rocking the dance floor with her dad. I am sure she was just having fun, and did not realize the meaning of that memory. Not only did that marine teach his daughter (at a young age) that he will always be right by her side when she explores the world around her. He taught her to step out of her element and be herself no matter who was watching. She was a little princess who had her own dance moves regardless of what everyone else around her was doing.
Honestly, after that event I am more proud and feel more a part of my new large family. Just like any other family there's going to be gossip, attitude and drama, children growing up and promotions. Unlike a regular family there are frequent changes of homes and jobs, new friends and faces often, and maybe even months of time apart from each other. But just like any other family, with all its ups and downs I have realized I am made for this family. I enjoy the traditions, the brotherhood, and the pride that comes from being a part of the few and the proud.

Mrs. Sgt. P.

When Friendships Blossom

2009-11-18T07:29:00.003-05:00

Have you ever wondered what word can be used to define a relationship that has grown beyond the boundaries of a friendship? Does it feel weird that you would ALWAYS count on that one person or group of people regardless of the curve balls life throws at you?
One thing I absolutely admire about the Marine Corps is its brotherhood. The Bible speaks about the greatest action of love being shown by laying our life down for our brother/friend. It amazes me to know that most people who commit to the military do so with the understanding they are laying their lives down for the citizens of this country, and each other. My husband always talks about not being afraid to take a bullet for a brother (another Marine). But would we, the civilians, do that for a friend?

I can honestly say growing up I took pride in friends that are not to be found in my life today. Granted we all went our own ways after high school, there really wasn't any strong foundations in our friendship that held us together as time and distance kept us away. Today, I have more solid relationships in my life. Friends that keep it real, and are "smack to the back of the head" honest with me when needed. I would do anything and everything I can to be there for them, as they would for me. Yet from time to time I wonder if I would take a bullet for them (lay my life down for them).

By my definition, when "friendship" blossom...it becomes "family". My husband and I learned the hard way that "family" is not just reserved for blood relations. And the perfect example of that in our life today is my husband's friend and fellow Marine whom he affectionately calls "big Brother". I call him "baldy" or "Pooh Bear" to annoy him, but that is beside the point here. For the purpose of this blog, I'm going to refer to him as Pooh Bear.

The best way to describe Pooh Bear is this - he is the nicer and more patient version of my husband. The Marine Corps is their very existence and their purpose in life. They are both super motivated, extremely dedicated Marines who will, without a doubt, take a bullet for each other at war, and off the field. Their brotherhood is like none I have seen before. In their silence they hear and understand each others deepest pains and craziest thoughts. Pooh Bear became more than just another Marine during one of their deployments together. And since then, he's become more than just a friend...and now our brother. He's family.

Pooh has proven to my husband that with one phone call he would open up his home for my husband and his sister. He helps me understand where my husband is coming from by explaining the marine mindset about certain things/situations in life. Just the past year of being married, Pooh Bear has driven 10 - 14hours to spend a few days with us at least four or five times already. That's more than our own relatives have done for us. The friendship my husband and Pooh have has kept them both strong, and sane both in Iraq and on the home front. The friendship him and I have has helped me appreciate my role as a Marine Wife, and be prepared for the unexpected bumps and turns in our journey.

My husband and I know we can count on our Pooh Bear any day for anything. And we would drop our packs in a heart beat for him as well. He's one of the few in my life that I, as a civilian, would consider taking a bullet for me because no matter what, he'll always be our big brother.

I probably have digressed a little here, but here's the question I have for you. What would you call a relationship that has blossomed beyond the limits of a friendship? And would you have to think twice about laying down your life for a friend or would it be for "family"?

Mrs. Sgt. P.

Love you much Pooh Bear. With you by our side, Tigger (my husband), Piglet (me) and Eeyore (my brother) can always take on the world!!

Behind every successful Man...

2009-11-05T11:58:00.003-05:00

Today is the NYC Marine Corp Birthday Ball which will take place on the Intrepid. My marine was requested by the Commandant of the Marine Corps (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commandant_of_the_Marine_Corps) to be a part of his detail at this Ball. Can you believe that?!?!?!?! Of all the Marines in NY state, mine got hand picked (amongst others, of course) by General Conway...the highest ranking official in the Corp. To boot, the President will be attending too!!!! WOAH!!!!

Instances like these are a reminder to me that my husband is right where God wants him to be - he's on a career path to success. I am pretty sure every wife has to deal with the expectations/changes that come along with their husband's career growth and choices. I must do everything I can to keep up with his career and represent him well to the best of my ability. =)

My husband and I decided long time ago that we would do everything to support each other's career choices. Coming from a culture where women are expected to be home and take care of the family, I am blessed to be married to someone who wants me to have a career and not just a job.

Wives (girlfriends/fiancees), I encourage you to motivate your man to be ALL that he can be in his career and life. Be the wife that supports and motivates, and not the kind that refuses him from succeeding. After all, who they are and what they become will indirectly reflect on us as well. =)

Behind every successful man, there's an even more successful woman cheering him on.
(Men, if you have got a woman like that....consider yourself lucky and dont mess it up!!!)

Mrs. Sgt. P.
(Sorry Babes. I know this is a big day for you, but I just made it about me. =))

One of Life's toughest Lessons....

2009-11-04T17:56:00.002-05:00

I got this in an email and simply had to share. I've got no words to explain it or a picture to add to it. But if there's one thing life has taught me....its just this...

There comes a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won't anymore...
And who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

I encourage you not to dwell in the past. Pick yourself up and quickly move on by simply finding strength in the fact that God's always watching, and always is a step ahead of us. He will provide as and when we are in need. I can vouch for that...

Mrs. Sgt. P.

Energize your Battery

2009-11-04T17:25:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a busy,but fun filled day. I went back to my old job to hang out with my friends. These are women that I did not directly work with, but in the short two years I was there they became my family. It was a lot of fun to catch up over lunch and just be around them. Brought back a lot of feelings of peace, security, warmth and love. It was like being home again. We picked up right where we left off. Everyone is moving on in life, but its so easy to meet up for a half hour, share notes and laugh at the smallest things. I love them!

I quickly visited another friend of mine and her daughter prior to lunch. It was a really short visit (as I was running late), but it was a lot of fun too. Its crazy to see how the teenager is growing up so fast. Her ideas, her enthusiasm for music and love for life is really inspiring. Its always fun to watch kids grow up.

Speaking of kids, I also got to visit my three little girls on the way back home. We had plans of hanging out at the mall but they all got sick so we just chilled at home. My babies (teenagers and a preteen) are all growing up. It fascinates me to see how their thoughts/perspectives change with every passing day. Their personalities evolve with each year that goes by. It's amazing and scary at the same time. Being around them, reminded me of the conversation my marine and I always have about being positive role models to the next generation.

Spending time with the people I love (regardless of age) always reminds me how blessed I am in life. God has provided me with an awesome support system. People that do not judge me for who I am, but rather love me no matter what I say or do. I feel more confident about myself when I am around them. They energize me, and keep me going.

I encourage you today to take some time out of your busyness to hang out with the people that you love, or the people that encourage you to be your best. They are a source of strength from God to keep you going and going and going....

Mrs. Sgt. P.

A Moment in Time...

2009-11-03T18:58:00.125-05:00

11/02/2009

Today is a day for the history books - USS New York comes to NYC to be commissioned.

Mr. Opportunity (from the previous blog), had an amazing idea of getting my husband and another Marine (he asked that I refer to him as the Mexican Sensation) to help him photograph the ship as she was making her way to Pier 88.
The ship would be photographed from both sides of the Hudson River, and once in the ship they were going to have the Captain of the ship do a mock Oath Ceremony with the Poolees. The day was going to be fabulous!!
My husband was going to take the pictures from Battery Park and Pier 88, while Mr. Opportunity and the "Mexican Sensation" were located on the Jersey banks of the Hudson.

They say the ship is the first of its kind. Not only is it the fastest battle ship, it can also hold massive vehicles in the inside, and a few helicopters on the outside. But I will always remember it for its bow, which is made from steel of the World Trade Center. And the 21 gun salute from aboard the ship as it passed Ground Zero.
What better place to bring the ship to for its commissioning. What better way to honor the victims of 9/11 and their families. What better way to show the world, we (America) will move on stronger and mightier, while holding onto (not forgetting) our past.

We were on the FDR trying to get from Battery Park to the Chelsea Pier when we saw the ship sailing right by us. Granted there was traffic, but even as we were flying by it felt like the ship was still moving faster than we were. Craziness!! This ship is NOOOOOO JOKE!!
Like any other day in our lives, there were lots of "are you freakin' serious?" moments through out the day. We were given security clearance to get on top of the building to take pictures of the ship as she pulled into the dock. First we had to explain to a few Marines on site why we were there, who gave us clearance to be there, and why my husband was not in uniform. Then we were stopped by Port Authority officials who were wondering how "civilians" got up there and were taking "lots of" pictures of the ship and the surroundings. Once the ship was docked, we went downstairs to look for Mr. Opportunity and gang who,were waiting outside, for clearance to come in so we can proceed with the mock Oaths.
At this point the Navy reservists who were assigned to guard the front gate wanted to know how we got clearance to get in, and why we were there. It did not seem to matter that we are already inside. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, they decided to kick us out since our names weren't on the Press list. Sad!! They did not care for the fact that we were not the press and we were cleared by Albany and the Gunny onsite to be on board the ship. Finally, they (Mr. Opportunity and gang) talked to some high ranking official of the Navy and got in while my Marine, myself and the two poolees with us had to pack up and leave.
So, for us, the morning excitement died after that incident as we could not get on board of the ship. I guess we will just have to take pride in the fact that we chased her all the way from Battery Park, and saw her up close as she pulled into the dock. Not a lot of people can say that.

Oh and by the way....I had some real "me" moments while I was at the pier. I wanted to take a picture of the gunner standing next to his machine gun so I decided (rather stupid of me) to walk up next to him to take a picture. A few of them came right up to me and asked me to leave as there were lots of ammunitions around there and they did not want me to get hurt. Then I decided to stand next to the news cameramen to take pictures of the ship, and one of them tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to step aside as his camera was a live feed and he did not want my head (my husband claims I've got a big head) in the way. This last incident is the funniest to me. While waiting outside, I saw a man in a suit talking to the radio in his sleeve. I had only seen that in the FBI movies and wanted to take a picture of him. I turned on my camera and then quickly decided against it. A few seconds later he called me over and asked if I had taken a picture of him. I said no. I later found out that he's NCIS!!!! Man, I love that show! Had I known, I would have taken the picture regardless. My marine said he would not even attempt to bail me out if I had gotten in trouble for that. =)

Born and raised outside the US, an attack on the World Trade Center did not have an impact on my life, as I had come to the US the year before for college and was just getting acclimated to my surroundings. Even though it was tragic and scary, it did not leave a scar like it has for most Americans. This was not the case for my husband who joined the Marine Corp as a result of 9/11.

September 11 has indirectly changed my life based on the choices my Marine made.

I am a proud Marine Wife today for two reasons. One, I was able to witness history first hand as it was being revealed. Secondly, I was able to share that moment in time with my husband. That ship and everything it is represents is who he is today.

USS NEW YORK should not just represent the tragedy. It must remind us of the freedom we enjoy because of the sacrifices made by many.

Please make sure to visit the ship while she is here the rest of this week.
http://www.ussny.org/

Mrs. Sgt. P.

When Opportunity comes knocking...

2009-11-03T00:00:00.001-05:00

11/01/2009
When Opportunity comes knocking, make sure to greet it with a hearty smile and welcome it in. You will be surprised how it will change your life.

I spent the best part of the day with a LEGEND today. I use the word "legend" with the utmost respect because this man truly is a walking piece of history! To some he is a fellow Montford Point Marine, to others he's a fellow Computer Engineer. Some know him as a talented Photographer and Film Director. Others know him as a successful businessman.

So many descriptions (and many more titles I'm sure I do not know of) for this man whose reputation precedes himself. I wish to remember him as the angel God sent my husband's way....I would like to call him Mr. Opportunity.

My Marine loves photography and that's a known fact. Anyone who comes home will see the two SLRs and four lenses on his shelf. If you live with him long enough you will notice he would rather sit on his iMac researching on cameras, lenses and learning up on photography than spend quality time listening to his wife yap about her day. =)

During the toughest season of Recruiting Duty (early days), Mr. Opportunity paid him a random visit. My Marine came home very excited and happy that day. He had met someone that understood his passion for the Marine Corp and Photography. My husband welcomed him, his motivational life stories and advices with a gracious smile, and an open/willing heart.

Today, Mr. Opportunity calls him "my student" and is teaching him the art of Photography while constantly rekindling his fire for the Marine Corp.

So I encourage you today to keep your eyes and your heart open to the world around you. There are no coincidences in life, only opportunities. Make the most of every chance you get as you will never know how much of an impact it will have on your future. If it doesn't work out for you, at least you will have the satisfaction that you gave it your best.
Trust me, both our lives have forever been changed because my husband gave Mr. Opportunity a chance.

Dear Mr. Opportunity,
I salute you, Sir. I'm grateful that God crossed both your paths. I'm in awe of your love for Life, family, The Corp, and the Country. I appreciate your enthusiasm to teach and be taught. I'm grateful for ALL that you have done for America. And most of all, I'm touched that you chose to invest time in my husband, and let me tag along and learn from you. I am a believer that God places people in our lives to guide us through the various seasons, and you're one such Angel. Some day, I hope my husband and I will make a difference in this world, like you and your wife have and continue to do so. God Bless!

Mrs. Sgt. P.

SISTERs hide behind huge rocks...

2009-10-31T14:20:00.003-04:00

Have you ever felt lonely? Ever wished you had a big sister to run to with ALL your questions and issues?

Trust me....I know how you feel. Sometimes the women in our family cannot/will not be the keepers of our biggest secrets or our most random thoughts. For various reasons, they might not understand us the way we want them to. So then who do you discuss your life with? Who would you run to with your heart breaking drama, or your belly aching laughs?

I am convinced sometimes sisters hide behind huge rocks. Good friends are hard to find. But when they make that first appearance, grab a hold of them and do not let go. =)
The beauty of sisterhood, in my opinion, does not only exist within the dynamics of a family. It unfolds itself in a friendship or any relationship where loyalty, trust and honesty co-exist without any signs of selfishness, pride or ulterior motives.

I am at a stage in my life where I do not rely on my relatives to carry me through the tidal waves of life. I have learned that God brings us people with different gifts to help us through the seasons of our very existence. Those that stand by my side (or have stood by my side) without judging or belittling me are the ones that I call family today. I might not talk to them every day, or hang out with them every week. I might not remember all their birthdays or buy gifts for them for Christmas. I might not know all their pains, or care to share all of mine with them. But I do know when I need them I will find them right where they promised to be. Right by my side. No questions asked. And they know I would do just that for them too.

Sometimes sisters (and brothers) are not the people you grow up with, and they may not be the people you grow old with. But when a special friendship evolves from behind the huge rock, make sure you cherish it as long as you can. After all, they are from God for that special season in your life.

Next time you feel lonely in life, make sure you open your heart and look behind the huge rocks. =)
God's got a surprise waiting for you.

Mrs. Sgt. P.

(This is dedicated to all my friends that have taken the role of family in my life as a new marine wife. I will forever be in debt to you. )

Does a Mom's emotion overpower her instincts?

2009-10-30T07:33:00.008-04:00

We got a new hamster last Friday. Short haired teddy bear female hamster named Lucy. My husband affectionately calls her Lucinda. Unlike Stewie (our other hamster), Lucy is very adventurous and daring. She's quick on her feet, makes these little noises and is very attentive to us. She runs away from me and plays with my husband.....(what can I say?? he's got that effect on females both in and out of uniform!!)

Anyways, I decided to let her play in Stewie's old ball yesterday (the picture is of Stewie in his old ball) so she can run around and explore the rest of the house. The little "door" to the ball does not close all the way. I should have known better but decided to use it anyways so she can leave her cage. A half hour later I realized that I couldn't hear her rolling around the kitchen anymore. I dash over there only to see what I was hoping I wouldnt....the ball was empty. Argh! Sniff! Sniff! Waaah!! We looked ALL over the apartment for her. My husband with the flashlight and I was calling out her name. Hubby even went outside to see if she was in the hallway....we were worried she crawled into the neighbor's homes.

Right before going to bed, we decided to check the kitchen area one more time. I kept hearing her but kept thinking it was in my head. My husband for some reason had a gutt feeling she was in the kitchen. I was convinced she was gone and even put her cage in the kitchen in the event she decided to come back. After what seemed to be an eternity, right when I was giving up, my husband spots her little head poking out from under the fridge. Mind you....he had checked it a few times already. At this point, I just plopped on the ground crying again. That's our little Lucinda.

I asked my husband how he knew to stand by the kitchen and wait for her. He said it was just instincts.

It took forever to fall asleep last night because I kept wondering if my emotions (primarily guilt of using that broken ball for her to play with) overpowered my instincts. My heart kept telling me she's home somewhere, but my mind was convinced she had snuck out through the gap under the door. And it was all my fault! Why didn't I wait by the kitchen patiently for her to come out after she was done playing? What would I have done if my husband was deployed and I had to deal with this all by myself?

I know owning pets doesn't make me a true mother, but I cant help but wonder if I would be quick to give up on my own children in situations where they would make my heart skip a beat.

Definitely learned a lesson on parenting today.

To all you mom's that are reading this. Have you ever felt like your emotions get the best of you when it comes to dealing with your children? Or is it natural to think/act fist and cry later?
I know they say a mother's instincts is like no other...

Mrs. Sgt. P.

Now What is a WIFE to do?

2009-10-29T08:49:00.011-04:00

10/27/2009

Ever since we got married (close to a year now), I have been telling my husband I wanted to start a blog to capture the moments in our crazy life. The five years before the wedding was quite the journey, but being married to an active duty marine I figured the rest of my life was going to be an adventure. I wish I had the time, motivation and dedication to start this sooner because I have missed out on jotting down sooo many mind boggling moments in the past 10 months of wedded bliss. I didnt want my blog to be a 'dear diary' entry, so the past month I've been trying to think of creative ideas to maintain a blog.

The conversation we had today confirmed the kind of topics I would like to discuss through my blogs.

Working for my current employer had been a dream since before college graduation. It was the company everyone was talking about, it was the product that was gaining so much of momentum in the business world. It was totally the coolest place to be. All my research of the company and my desire to work for them came true in 2006. The travels were exciting. Had some awesome conversations with people on the plane, got to see different places and people in the process. Learned a lot about the consulting world and lifestyle. Wanted to get a few years under my belt and gain my place in the business/consulting world. It was amazing and exciting...until the day I got married.

It hit me first (that I wasnt home long enough) when I realized I did not know what flavor of Quakers oatmeal my husband liked even after 6 months of being married. =) There was a time when my husband had to drop off our guinea pigs at his work while he went to Albany for a couple of days. And many more similar but eye opening stories...

So my passion has changed now. I do not worry too much about my career, although my husband thinks I should. All I can say now, is that I want to be close to home. I want to be able to come home from work every night. I want to be able to take care of my pets, and my home. I want to be able to have his meals ready when he comes home from work no matter how late it is. I dunno...I just want to be around. Not just that, I miss the people in my world. I miss Bible studies and Sunday school classes. To sum it all up, I miss home. =)

My husband says I should make the most of my dream at least until children come into the picture. It totally makes sense. We both are career oriented and our work has always been a huge factor in our lives. And we've always told each other we would not be a hinderance to the other's career choices.

I am married to a United States Marine. His job is his life. Duty and country must come before family. Hence, his job, by default, becomes my life (and our kids' lives).

My reasoning for wanting to be close to home:

1. I want to be the kind of wife who takes care of her husband on a daily basis and not only on weekends. (Granted my husband doesnt like being taken care of and is self sufficient)

2. I want to get used to the idea of preparing dinner/doing chores after coming home from work before we add kids to the picture. (This way I'm not learning everything all at once.)

3. There is a possibility after Recruiting Duty, my husband will be deployed when he gets back in the fleet. Now is the time to enjoy the moments together before the distance and stress kicks in. Ours has always been a long distant relationship. I think it's time for a break.

4. I want to be the ideal Marine Wife. The kind that has her own career/job but still plays an important part in the Marine Corp family. I can't volunteer or be a part of the community with my travels. I need a job close to home that will allow me to get out there and experience life as a true Marine wife. The career path my husband is on, requires a wife that is just as motivated and dedicated to the Corp....or at least I think so.

That, I believe, is my passion today. To run a home, to be a wife, to support the Marine Corp and my husband. I am willing to give up my dreams for that because this is what makes me happy now. Correction, no I will not give up my dreams for anybody!! I just changed my dream from being an outstanding IT professional to being an exceptional Marine wife. This is now my life.

So now, what IS a wife to do? Am I being silly here? Would you do the same for your husbands and family? What are some of the unspoken rules of being THE good wife?

Can't wait to hear your comments...

Mrs. Sgt. P. (one of his poolees called me that the other day and I was in 7th heaven)